Sonic and the Golden Journey
by WhatIsThisDefiance
Summary: Sure, he's fixed the Arabian Nights and the Arthurian Kingdom, but can Sonic save the story of Goldilocks from the Three Bears? Why is Little Red Riding Hood here? And how much story material even *exists* in this book? Find out in the third installment of the "Sonic Storybook Series!"
1. Chapter 0: The Prologue

_Spoilers: Previous "Storybook Series" games (Sonic and the Secret Rings, Sonic and the Black Knight)_

 _Content Warnings: The same level of slapstick/violence found in the games themselves_

* * *

 **Sonic and the Golden Journey**

 **Chapter 0: The Prologue**

"Hmm. Wonder if those chili dogs were past their expiration date."

Sonic the Hedgehog knocked on the door of the strange, isolated house, not really knowing where he was or what he meant to accomplish.

"Hello? Anyone home?"

No one answered, but the door had no lock. After tapping his foot for a few moments, he let himself in.

It was a small, unassuming cottage. He walked through what appeared to be the kitchen. There were empty bowls on the table. The kitchen bordered what appeared to be a sitting room. There was a furnace, but nothing to sit on. Climbing upstairs to what appeared to be a lone bedroom, he pushed the door open.

There were no beds in the room, but on the floor sat a human girl in a red, hooded cloak. She was facing away and apparently hadn't noticed him.

"Hiya!" Sonic greeted her.

"Oh!"

The girl jumped up and turned to face him. She was carrying a hardcover book and had obviously been engrossed in it. "I didn't hear you come in."

Sonic looked her over. Now that he'd seen her face and heard her talk, he realized she was older than he'd thought. Late teens or early twenties, maybe. But if that was so, then…

"...how come you aren't taller?" he finished his thoughts aloud. Tact had always been a foreign concept to him.

The four-foot-tall girl looked down at the three-foot-tall blue thing currently addressing her. She cocked her head. "You're...one to talk."

Sonic broke into a grin at the opportunity for a good banter. "I'm a hedgehog," he declared, proudly thumbing his chest. "What's your excuse?"

"Oh. Well, my excuse is that I'm Little Red Riding Hood, and your name has to match your traits when you're a story character."

Sonic's grin tripled in wattage. "Am I in a _storybook_ again?! Woohoo!"

"Why are you happy about this? Wait… 'again'...?"

"Yep! This is my third rodeo after the Arabian Nights and the land of King Arthur. So we're in the story of _Little Red Riding Hood_?"

"Actually...no. It's _Goldilocks_."

Sonic did a double-take. "Whuh!?"

"I understand your confusion, but I've been sucked into this story too. I have no idea how I got here, and the last thing I remember is just... _arriving_ at this house."

Sonic paused and thought about it. "Ditto," he concluded.

"So then, it looks like I got here not long before you did. I found this book explaining everything. In short, the world of Goldilocks is missing its heroine, and the story has been corrupted. The three bears have been rampaging and causing chaos. I want to help in some way, but I'm not sure where to start."

"Well, sounds like my kind of job." Sonic said. "Count me in!"

"Great! By the way, you can just call me Red. What's your name?"

"I'm Sonic. Sonic the Hedgehog," he replied proudly. Unable to resist an opportunity to brag a little, he added "I have a descriptive name, just like you."

She nodded. "That makes sense. So you have that name because you're very loud?"

"Ye- **no**! Fast! I got it 'cause I'm _fast!"_ he shouted.

Red hesitated. She didn't seem convinced, for some reason.

Sonic rolled his eyes. He zipped forward, and before Red could even blink, he was suddenly wearing her cloak and hood.

Her eyes widened. He wasn't lying about his speed.

Sonic fluttered his eyelids daintily for good measure. Red narrowed hers.

"Alright, I'll concede that you've got a double meaning. Was taking my hood really necessary though?"

He untied it and handed it back to her. "Actually," he admitted, sheepishly scratching the back of his head, "I also wanted to see your hair before working with you."

"...what? How does that factor into _anything_?"

"I've learned not to trust pinkish-maned storybook chicks. But you're blonde, so it's cool."

Red stared as he gave her a cheerful thumbs-up. She had thought they were speaking the same language, but now she wasn't so sure.

"So yeah, what's the game plan?"

"Um, well, first off, the book is explicit that only Goldilocks can save the day. And that's where I'm concerned, since she's missing."

He waved a hand in dismissal. "No problem. I can fill in for her."

"E-excuse me?"

"I've got a flawless track record being the protagonist. So far I've been both Aladdin and King Arthur. And my video game is named after me."

"What's a video game?"

"Never mind. Does the book say Goldilocks can't come from outside the story?"

"Oh, actually no. The book likes the number three. It said that the third character to enter this house would be Goldilocks. And that's why I'm confused. I saw a single pair of footprints already on the doormat when I entered."

He snapped his fingers, pointing triumphantly. "Ha! So that makes me the third!"

"Yes," she answered slowly, "but you don't have golden hair. Technically, you don't have hair at all."

"Oh, _now_ look who's being prejudiced."

"This is _prophecy_ , Sonic. It's relevant this time."

"Fine. Hmm," he muttered, before suddenly cracking up. "Hey, have you ever heard of the Chaos Emeralds?"

"No...?"

"They're powerful multi-colored gems. Bad guys often use them for great misdeeds, but if I had all of them, I could totally be Goldilocks. They're from my world and usually stay there, but I haven't seen them lately…"

"Come to think of it, yes, the book mentioned otherworldly, colorful tokens of power hidden within the chapters. It said something about restoring balance to obtain them. That doesn't seem like a coincidence. And these emeralds will really turn your 'hair' gold? That almost sounds like a different story altogether..."

"They'd turn my _everything_ gold," Sonic chuckled, "but I figure that's even better. And trust me, nothing's gonna stand in my way when I'm like that. It's a two-for-one deal. What else does the book say about Goldilocks?"

Red skimmed the later chapters, "That she only appears in times of great crisis."

"Sweet! That fits too. Eh, well, I mean there was that one time I got a little overzealous and now I'm _hedgehoga non grata_ on a couple tennis courts, but…"

"I'm sorry?" Red hadn't quite caught that last bit mumbled under Sonic's breath.

"Uh, nothing. I'm a perfect match."

"But you're not a little girl."

He threw his hands up. " _Details_!"

"Sonic, I don't know. I really was expecting Goldilocks to come through that door."

"Come on, Red. Everything else matches perfectly! What kind of story would this be if I were already Goldilocks? There'd be no conflict at all! This story needs to be about the _journey_ to Goldilocks."

She sighed. "You're right. This can't be coincidence."

She snapped the book shut. A page flew out of the book, and, growing much larger, pressed up against the bare wall. A portal formed in the page.

Red stashed the book in her messenger bag and gestured forward. "That looks like the first chapter. Let's go."

Sonic watched her curiously. "Y'know, you're a lot cooler about this whole thing than I thought you'd be."

She flashed him a rueful smile as they walked through the portal. "My granny keeps turning out to be a cross-dressing wolf. You learn to take things in stride after a while."

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

Hi! Fair warning: I have little to no respect for the fourth wall.


	2. Chapter 1: The Porridge

**Chapter 1: The Porridge**

Sonic and Red stepped out of the portal. The world they found themselves in was mostly white. And wet. A vast ocean stretched in front of them, and on the horizon, they could see a mountain with a glow at its peak.

Sonic stared in abject horror.

"The lake is... _porridge?_ What kind of..."

"The mountain isn't even that far away." mused Red, "It's just a shame we can't swim across. That porridge is too hot."

"Look," said Sonic, "even if I knew how to swim, and even if that 'lake' wasn't **actively boiling** , I wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole. Porridge is nasty."

"But how are we going to get across? There's almost nothing we can use."

Sonic looked around, and after a moment, began to rip strips of paper from the side of the chapter.

"Wait, can you DO that?"

"Why not? I'm the hero...ine, right?"

"Er..."

Sonic wrapped a strip of paper around one of his sneakers, and then wrapped a second strip around the other. He took a few light hops, then, apparently satisfied, wrapped several more around each shoe. He now looked a few inches taller.

He took a deep breath before grinning resolutely. "Well, here goes nothing…"

"What are you planning to- AAH!"

Sonic grabbed Red, hoisted her over his shoulder, and took off sprinting towards the lake. By the time he hit the porridge, he'd gained enough speed to run across the top of it. He reached the bank on the other side and screeched to a squishy halt.

Sonic set Red down and gingerly shook a few wads of soggy paper from his shoes. Most of it had already disintegrated from contact with the boiling porridge.

"Ew. Glad I protected myself from that sludge."

Red finally regained her composure. "Why didn't you **warn** me you were going to do that?"

"Eh, you woulda told me it was crazy."

"That's because it was! How are we going to get back? There's no paper on this side."

"Dunno. We'll have to find something to use here, I guess. What is this place anyway?"

"Wow, it suddenly got too cold. It looks like a mountain. It's an odd color though."

Sonic poked a foot at the ground. It was off-white and oddly lumpy.

"Are you kidding me." he groaned.

"What?"

"Porridge. A mountain of frozen porridge. The author of this book was a sicko."

Sonic and Red climbed the mountain. At the very peak sat a porcelain bowl. A spoon rested across it.

"Plot twist," Sonic announced, "more porridge."

"Wow, despite being up here, this porridge in this bowl is just above room temperature. It must be a sign…"

"So's that," said Sonic, pointing.

"Oh."

A few feet from the bowl stood a large wooden sign. It read "The porridge was just right, and Goldilocks ate it all up."

"Well, I guess that settles it. Sonic, you have to eat the porridge."

Sonic went pale. "Wh-why me?!"

"Didn't you say you were going to become Goldilocks? Clearly this is the first step."

"But...but... _all_ of it? That bowl's the size of my head!"

"Read the sign."

"But porridge is gross. And _boring._ "

"Sonic, stop whining. It's the only way to proceed here. We need the Emeralds."

Sonic's gaze hardened. He walked over to the bowl and picked it up. After glaring into it for a few moments, he closed his eyes.

"Focus, Sonic," he murmured to himself, "this is it. This is where your willpower must lead you. This is where your speed training will save you."

Red blinked. "What? Look, just eat it. Take it slowly, and I'm sure you ca-"

Sonic burst into a flurry of speed, his hand whipping between the bowl and his mouth until the porridge was gone. It happened so quickly, Red couldn't be sure Sonic had actually eaten the porridge. Except she was quite sure he couldn't be faking the queasy expression now spreading across his face.

Sonic dropped the empty bowl, hugged himself with one arm, and clasped the other hand over his mouth. "Did...did it work..?" he asked weakly through his fingers.

"...how.. _._ _ **why**_ _._..? Um. No, no I don't think it did. Nothing has changed here. And I don't see any Chaos Emeralds."

He nodded slowly. "Cool. Well, excuse me for a moment. I need to lie down. And hurl. And die. Dunno in which order yet."

So saying, the broken hero hunched over and began to limp away.

"Oh, brilliant," Red muttered, "you've managed to incapacitate yourself through utter bullheadedness. I'd say you aren't the chosen one, but the green hue you've taken on is halfway from blue to gold already. And I was wrong on another count, too; you really _are_ a little girl!"

Sonic went rigid, sheer indignation overpowering his nausea in the heat of the moment. He whirled around, pointed at her, and took a deep breath.

What he'd intended to give her was a scathing retort worthy of the ire of a supersonic hedgehog. What he _actually_ gave her was a juicy belch worthy of the boom of a supersonic jet.

In either case, he got the reaction he'd been hoping for. Red gawked at him in stunned silence, her hair blown back and her eyes almost larger than the head they called their home.

"...a-and...and let that be a lesson to you." he finished with a smirk.

Red continued staring as the last few echoes of the blast rang out. Before either could say anything more, the ground they were standing on began to crack.

"Whoops."

An avalanche of frozen porridge came loose. Sonic uprooted the sign in one hand and Red in the other. Together, they rode the sign like a sled as the entire mountain crumbled underneath them. Soon, they were afloat on the sign in the lake of porridge. However, the frozen mountain had completely crumbled and melted in the lake, which, instead of boiling, now looked to be just above room temperature.

Sonic and Red sat on the sign, glanced at the lake, and then at each other.

He folded his arms. "Don't look at me, pal. I still feel like hurling."

As if to answer, a whirlpool formed in the lake, and a Chaos Emerald floated to the surface. Red picked it up, looking it over with a sense of wonder.

"It looks like you won't have to! This chapter has been set in balance, and everything is _just right_. That was easier than I thought it would be!"

She stashed the Emerald in her bag as the sign began slowly drifting towards a new portal on the horizon. Sonic rolled onto his back with an arm over his eyes.

"Speak for yourself. I nearly died and it's only the first level."

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

My sincere apologies to any porridge aficionados out there. I've never tried porridge, but I am a big oatmeal fan.


	3. Chapter 2: The Chair

**Chapter 2: The Chair**

Sonic and Red stepped out of the portal and into a new chapter. This landscape was significantly less squishy, much to Sonic's relief. They were standing on a cliff overseeing a large grassy plain. The plain itself was mostly open. A visible winding path ended in a pair of twin mountain peaks dominating the horizon.

"Hmm," Red observed, "those mountains don't appear to be made of porridge this time."

Ignoring the sound of Sonic gagging behind her, Red stepped to the edge of the cliff to read the wooden sign posted there.

"The chair was just right, and Goldilocks sat in it."

"Sitting. Hokay, I can do that, as long as it's not for a long time."

"Odd, though. I really don't see any chairs. Just a lot of scenery?"

"Yeah. Guess we should head to those mountains and see if there's anything sittable there."

There was a pause. He smiled. She frowned.

"Sonic, are you planning on being bullheaded agai- _gah_!"

Sonic grabbed Red and used the sign to snowboard down the cliff.

"You're going to make a habit of that, aren't you."

"Naaah. It already is one. Ooh, what's that?"

At the bottom of the cliff, not really matching with the rest of the scenery, sat a small, lone vehicle. It had an open top and resembled the carts used on golf courses.

Sonic cocked his head. "Well, that's weird. Oh well! Let's kee-"

"Wait, Sonic! There's a seat in there! Maybe it's technically the chair you need to sit in?"

"Huh. Good point!"

He jogged to the car, vaulting over the door and landing rear-first into the driver's seat. Red walked over, opening the passenger door, and brushing off the seat before she too sat down. Sonic was testing his side of the vinyl seat by bounce-sitting on it.

"Did anything happen when you sat down?"

"Nope!"

"Too bad. Maybe you should try driving it to those mountains?"

"If it still works. Man..." he muttered, reaching forward to the steering wheel. "...whoever designed this thing sure wasn't a hedgehog."

Sonic had to scooch up to the very front of the seat and bend forward before his arms could reach the wheel. He stepped on the gas. To his surprise, the car began driving.

"Wow!" Red called over the wind rushing past her hair. "This is great!"

She looked over at Sonic. He was very, very bored.

"Are you alright?"

"The top speed on this thing's like, sixty miles an hour."

"That's bad?"

"You know I can break the sound barrier, right? Why can't I just run us to the mountains?"

"Sonic, this is the only chair we've seen in this chapter so far! If there's even a chance this is the right chair, we really should take it with us."

He hit the brakes. "What _is_ it with fiction making me ride vehicles slower than I can run? Look, Red, you can drive it there if you want. I'm gonna run ahead."

"But what if you're the one destined to drive the car?"

"Well, that's silly", he declared, rising out of his seat, "Sonic the Hedgehog does _not_ drive go-karrr _YYA_ _ **AAAAA**_ _HAH."_

Red winced at the sudden, shrill assault on her eardrums. When she looked over at Sonic, he had frozen in terror, his spines bristling.

"What? What's wrong?"

"My tail," he whispered, eyes growing wider by the second. "The chair bit my tail."

"Your..." She looked down. Sonic had only gotten a few inches off the chair and was suspending himself with his hands. There was indeed a small clamp on the seat chomping his equally petite tail.

"Oh! I didn't even notice you had a tail. ...it's adorable!"

"Do you _mind_!?" he hissed, cautiously lowering himself back down. The jaws seemed to relax slightly. He stared at them for a moment, took a deep, shuddering breath, and then tried to quickly jump off the seat.

He yelped again as the jaws bit down harder on his tail and yanked him back. This time, he got pulled down deep into the center of the seat, as though he was leaning back in a slouch instead of sitting up straight.

Red blinked. "Maybe you really are destined to drive the car."

Sonic shot her a withering glare before bending forward, grunting as he reached for the wheel again. Because of the way he was stuck in the seat, there was no chance of him grabbing it.

"Seriously, who designed this thing? An orangutan!?"

The jaws bit harder.

"Ow! _Nnrrghh_."

He leaned back again, propping himself up on his hands as much as his tail would allow. Stretching his legs out, he found he could use one foot to just barely reach the pedals and the other foot to just barely adjust the wheel. However, this created another problem.

"...Well. I can't see over the dashboard like this."

"Oh...well there's not much on the path. Just drive and I'll tell you if you need to turn."

"'Kay."

Sonic pressed the gas again. Red flipped off her hood, enjoying the breeze.

"Ahh, this is wonderful! Great chapter so far!"

Splayed out like a dignified starfish, Sonic frowned at her before suddenly looking smug. "What was that? Turn left? Oh okay!"

"What? I didn't say...aah!"

Sonic yanked the steering wheel over with his foot, driving the cart in a repeated figure eight pattern.

"Ahh, now THIS is wonderful."

"Ack! Sonic, stop it!"

"I can't hear you over the wind! Did you say something? You want me to spin donuts?"

"ARGH."

Sonic spun the car around several more times before drifting to a stop. He looked over innocently at Red, trying to estimate how much of the ambient smoke was from the abused tires rather than his passenger's nostrils.

"You did that on purpose!"

"Did what?" His face was neutral but his eyes were shining.

"Listen, you, we're _trying_ to save the…"

The ground shook. Red trailed off from her lecture, squinted at something in the distance, and then gasped.

"...what do you see?"

"Sonic...there are more chairs."

"Do I need to sit in those too?"

"Um...no. You can't. They're….much too big."

"How big?"

"The size of those two mountains. In fact, they _are_ the two mountains."

"...do they have teeth too."

Red's pupils shrank. "Oh." she noted in a tiny voice. "Yes, they do. And wheels. And they're coming for us."

He sighed. "Of course."

"Drive!"

Sonic hit the gas again. The cart took off.

"Red, is it just me, or is the terrain bumpier?"

"It is! Now we're….left! Turn left!"

Sonic kicked the wheel to the left. "What happened?"

"They're throwing things at us! Oh no...turn left, no wait! Turn riii-nonono both paths are blocked…!"

Sonic slammed the brakes and threw the cart into reverse. Red lurched forward, her cape flying over her head.

Sonic cracked up.

" _Who's navigating?!_ "

"BAHAHA...oh. Good questi-"

The cart hit a patch of uneven terrain while in reverse and flipped over in midair. Realizing they were going to land upside-down, Sonic stretched a leg up and kicked hard against the terrain to add extra rotation to the spin.

The cart landed properly on its wheels again. Red pulled her cape and hood off as they drove forward. "Alright, I admit that was a smart move."

"Ha! Yeah, no thanks to these stupid jaws."

They bit harder.

"Gah! Seriously, go chew some dynamite, y'little-OW. OHH, THAT _DOES_ IT."

"Sonic...are you arguing with your chair?"

"WHY YES. I _AM_ ARGUING WITH MY CHAIR. IS THERE A PROooblemmmm..."

"What is it...?"

"I'm arguing with my chair."

"Yes, we established that."

"Red...where are the big chairs now?"

"Um, about two hundred feet to our right."

"Great. Now, I want you to tie two corners of your cape around each wrist."

"Why?"

"Just humor me!"

She complied. "Will I regret this?"

"Not as much as I will!" He yanked the steering wheel to the right.

"Sonic! We're headed _towards_ the giant chairs! I just told you where they were!"

"I know. Thanks!"

He took his foot off the wheel momentarily, slid it underneath Red, and flung her out of the cart. The cape acted as a parachute and she landed safely on the ground.

Sonic continued driving forward, carefully scanning what he could of the limited view above him. The instant he could see the form of a mountainous chair, he slammed the brakes.

The tires squealed in a final protest and then blew out. Sonic turned the wheel in an attempt to gain control, but only managed to hit some more uneven terrain he had no way of seeing. The car launched in the air again.

Red was running on foot towards the scene when she heard the crash. She ran harder.

Sonic had apparently flown back-first into the paper side of the chapter. His back and head quills had caught in the paper, and he was stuck to the wall some fifty feet up. The car had mostly fallen to pieces, but the chair itself was still intact, hanging to Sonic's tail for dear life.

Red took a glance at Sonic's pained expression, trying to estimate how much injury was to his body rather than his pride.

The giant chairs rolled up to within a few feet of Sonic, and then stopped. The slightly smaller of the two chairs extended an armrest underneath Sonic. The smallest chair finally let go of his tail and landed on the armrest.

The largest chair also reached an armrest over. It pulled Sonic off the wall, set him on the ground, and made a nod-like gesture. The two large chairs appeared to bicker with each other briefly before turning and rolling away.

Red ran up to Sonic. He was grimacing as he rubbed his sore backside.

"Sonic, what did I just witness?"

He groaned. "I think I just returned their baby."

"Wha…"

As the three chairs rolled away, the baby chair turned around and spat out a Chaos Emerald in Sonic's direction. He caught it and handed it to Red. The hedgehog-shaped tear in the chapter wall grew bigger until a portal appeared.

Red started jogging over to the portal, and then slowed and turned around to look at an awkwardly waddling Sonic.

"I'm gonna just... _walk_... for a few minutes, if that's OK with you."


	4. Chapter 3: The Bed

**Chapter 3: The Bed**

The area was filled with beds. There were beds on the floor, beds on the walls, and somehow, beds on the ceiling. Red approached a lone sign standing at the chapter entrance.

"The bed was just right, and Goldilocks fell asleep," she read aloud.

Sonic scanned the horizon. "Uh, which bed? There are hundreds."

Red frowned. "It seems we have to find out which one is just right."

"Here goes!"

Sonic stepped on the first bed. He sank like a stone.

"Sonic, are you alright?"

"This bed is too soft." declared a pair of pointy blue ears sticking up between the sheets.

"Right, I don't think you could sleep on, or rather, _in_ that without suffocati-...are you humming the _Jaws_ theme."

The ears began ominously drifting forward. Red grabbed them and lifted their owner to solid ground.

"Ow! Okay, well I'm not taking this slowly anymore."

"Sonic, can we please just-"

Sonic kicked off another bed, finding with considerable delight that it was rather rubbery. He went flying.

"Wheeee!"

Sonic bounded across the beds, whooping and somersaulting. Red took a much more cautious approach, walking on the wooden bedframes and pressing a hand against each mattress she passed.

"We're supposed to be _questing._ Can't you take this seriously?" she called.

"I _am_ taking it seriously!" he answered mid-pirouette.

She pinched the bridge of her nose, inhaling deeply. "No, you aren't. What if you hurt yourself and can't save the story?"

"Not gonna happen," he declared in singsong, swinging around a tall bedpost.

"And how do you know that?"

"One, this is what I do. Two, we're in a filler chapter! It wouldn't make sense for me to sustain any serious injuries here."

She sighed as he pinballed off several ceiling and wall mattresses. "Have I mentioned lately how bullheaded you are?"

"Yep, several times!" he retorted giddily, posing for a swan dive into a particularly large bed.

A deafening _thud_ rocked the entire chapter. Red strolled over, calmly observing what appeared to be a blue pancake on a bed-shaped skillet.

"That bed is too hard, I take it?" she deadpanned.

"I'll pass on the mustard, please." replied the pancake.

"Well, at least you were right about comedic injuries. I can literally see orange birds circling you. Wait...why is that one wearing a monocle and tophat?"

A gloved hand shot up. "One more last fist bump."

Red shook her head, then looked down at the adjacent bed she was now standing on. "Oh!" she called, "This bed is just right!"

Sonic cringed as he pushed himself to his feet. "It is?"

"Yes! It's pliable, but not collapsing under me."

"Oh good," he responded, rubbing his throbbing nose.

"Great! Now you just have to sleep on it!"

"Hmm." He walked over and poked a foot at the bed, frowning.

"What's the problem? The bed seems perfect to me..."

"Yeah, but I can't sleep."

"What? I know you've got a ludicrous energy reserve, but don't you ever sleep?"

"Oh, I do. I'm known for taking catnaps at random times and annoying the snot out of my friends," he explained, grinning mischievously. "But I'd need to be bored. This adventure is too exciting!"

"This adventure isn't even going to _continue_ until you fall asleep."

Sonic groaned. "But... those bouncy beds are fun…"

She pointed an authoritative finger at the pillow.

Sonic stalked to the side of the bed and flopped over in a huff.

"Seeee? Isn't that comfy?"

" _Isn't that comfy?_ " he repeated in falsetto.

She ignored him.

"Actually…" he mumbled, yawning, "that _is_ a really nice pillow...wow…"

Red froze, not willing to move a muscle. She watched as Sonic rolled over onto his side and curled up. She could see the tension release from his shoulders as his breathing slowed to a peaceful rhythm. She held her breath.

Sonic's ears began twitching.

"But MAN," he cried, bolting upright, "those other beds were _epic_!"

" _Go. To. Sleep_."

"Ugh, fiiine," he groaned, plopping back on his pillow.

Red walked off to another bed.

Sonic half-opened one eye. "Where are you going?"

"Oh, don't mind me," she called behind her, "I'm just getting another pillow for myself."

He curled up again. "M'kay."

Red returned and sat next to Sonic, new pillow in hand. She watched as he began fading again, as his breathing slowed, and...as his ears started twitching violently.

Red sighed and held her pillow a foot above his head.

"Three, two, one…" she muttered under her breath.

Sonic bolted upright for the second time. And for the second time, a deafening _thud_ rocked the entire chapter.

"Hey," she quipped, knocking on the pillow with satisfaction, "I guess that other bed was just right too!"

"Zzz," said Sonic.

The pillow in Red's hand crumbled, revealing another Chaos Emerald. She smiled and stashed it in her bag. Realizing Sonic probably wouldn't wake up for a bit, she contentedly lay down, drifting off into a pleasant, significantly more voluntary sleep.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:  
**

Why yes, I do have a bird Avatar. Her name is Tic Tac™. Do not steal.

This chapter is too short. I could acknowledge it as a flaw, or I could point out that the next chapter is too long and pretend I intentionally got really meta with the Goldilocks shtick.


	5. Chapter 4: The Destination

**Chapter 4: The Destination**

"...worthless consumer models…...the colors feel so right…...mm...unh?...whoa! Red, look!"

Red stirred awake just in time to see Sonic spring to his feet. She sat up, looking around in confusion. The landscape of beds had disappeared and they seemed to be in another chapter entirely.

"Oh!" she started, getting to her feet. "It look like the book transported us while we slept..."

Sonic paused. "...is that what happened? The last thing I remember is trying to conk out in that bed. I succeeded?"

Red nodded demurely.

"Man, chalk one up to determination. I really didn't think I'd pull it off, given the circumstances."

"Oh, anything's possible when you put your head to it."

Sonic raised an eye ridge. "...head?"

"Oh, um, mind. I meant mind."

Sonic nodded, chuckling. "It's funny; I dreamed we had a pillow fight too. So we got the third Emerald?"

"Yes, I have them all in my bag."

"Sweet! But really though, where are we?"

"I don't know...this chapter looks big and available, but empty."

Sonic tensed. "...uh oh."

"What is it?"

"A boss room. This area is just screaming 'boss room'."

"What's a boss room?"

"I have no idea how to explain that to you. Hey, it's another sign!"

They jogged up to read it. Sonic gave Red the honors.

"While Goldilocks slept, the three bears returned to find her."

" _What_? We're fighting the three bears already?!"

"It looks like it. Thankfully, we're prepared for the ending and you're ready to become Goldilocks."

"...of _course_ I'm not!"

"Good. ...wait, what do you mean? I thought you said you just needed all the Chaos Emeralds!"

"Yeah, all _seven_ of them!"

Red gasped. "There are seven!?"

"Yes! How could we have reached the end already?"

"Have you ever read the story of Goldilocks? You could fit it in three sentences! We're lucky we got three _chapters_ out of it."

"But, if that's the case, where are the other four Emeralds?"

"With ME," a familiar voice rang out.

"Aw no," muttered Sonic, slapping his forehead.

"Someone's been eating my porridge," called the voice. The silhouette of a bear started to come into view.

"And it _reeked,_ " yelled Sonic, turning green again.

"Someone's been sitting in my chair," the same voice called out. Another bear.

"Your chair is a _brat._ " He rubbed his rear.

"And someone's been sleeping in my bed." A third bear.

"And I'm going to have nightmares knowing it was yours... **Eggman**."

Red raised an eyebrow. "Egg...man? Do you mean Humpty Dumpty is here too?"

Sonic groaned. "No, he only looks like it. Eggman is my arch-enemy."

The fleet of bears came into view. They were all robotic mechs. Shaped like bears. The smallest bear had a rattle, the mid-sized bear wore a bonnet, and the largest bear, in which Eggman docked his hoverpod, wore a bowtie.

"BEHOLD, EGG TEDDY, MY LATES-"

"Oh come _on_ , Eggman! The three bears? As mechs? Seriously!? Are you really running that low on ideas?"

"Silence!" Eggman scowled. "It was my turn to talk!"

"Fine, well, if you're not gonna explain your awful aesthetic choices, please at least elaborate what on Earth you're doing in this book."

" _Rrrghh_. Ahem. Very well. After hearing rumors of your exploits in other story worlds, I began to wonder about what powers had brought you there in the first place. I conducted several experiments on this book, but I never expected to be sucked in myse-"

"Wait! Wait! Sorry, Eggy, I'll let you finish in just a sec, but clarify something for me."

" _What?_ " the doctor hissed through his teeth.

"The first book you tried, the one you just so happened to have lying around in your evil lab...was **Goldilocks** _?"_

" _Listen, you insufferable little-"_

"Okay, so you picked your _favorite bedtime story_. Second question; what am _I_ doing here?"

Eggman's face was starting to match the color of his jacket. With great restraint, he continued.

" _As I was saying_ , I used a few Emeralds to experiment on the book. When I got sucked in, they came with me. Since the Emeralds attract each other, the others eventually transported to this world as well. I could detect their signatures, but I couldn't locate them. I read up on the lore of this world to find the legend of Goldilocks. I wreaked extra havoc under the assumption that the book would draw you in, as the others had, to repair its stories. In return, you'd find the other Emeralds hidden in the book, and then I'd destroy you. With the power of all seven Emeralds, I could escape this book and then conquer the world. And you wouldn't even be around to stop me."

Sonic yawned. "Well, you made sense for a while there, but that last part is as lame as those bears you built. You're not getting the Emeralds from me."

"Oh yes I am! These mechs are powered by the Emeralds I already have!"

Eggman hit a few controls. The bears sprung into action.

Sonic shoved Red aside and prepared to fight. The bears were surprisingly more nimble than he would have given them credit for. Within a few seconds they had closed in on him.

He launched into the air, mentally lining them up, and homing-attacked the three of them in order. When he landed, he turned to assess the damage. He hadn't even scratched them.

Sonic ran several hundred feet back, and charged in again, this time zigzagging under and around the individual bears to confuse them into hitting each other. But when he looked up, the robotic eyes stayed locked on him. He tried making a dive for Baby Bear, only to be roughly swatted back by Mama Bear. He grunted in pain as he flew backwards.

This wasn't good. Eggman was telling the truth when he said the mechs were Emerald-enhanced.

"Sonic!" called Red, "you have to use the Emeralds! Become Goldilocks!"

"I told you, I can't!"

"Just try!" she pressed, tossing them to him.

He caught them, looking at them with some concern. Truth be told, even _he_ didn't know how he normally utilized the Emeralds. Sure, when they were reacting wildly with each other and practically begging for a central host, absorbing them wasn't hard. But interacting with one on an individual basis was more in the job description of Shadow or Knuckles. Sonic had collected the Emeralds enough times to be able to sense when he was touching one, and he could pull an occasional single-gem Chaos Control in extreme situations, but his grasp on the skill was tenuous at best.

"Watch out!" Red called, breaking his train of thought. He barely reacted in time to dodge a laser blast.

"Alright missy, that's _enough_ out of you!" called Eggman. "Baby Bear, you're not needed to squash this blue ant. Shut that girl up, but leave her unharmed. Her presence is an anomaly I'd like to study."

Baby Bear dropped its rattle, pulled the bonnet from Mama Bear, and zoomed up to Red. It grabbed her tightly and used the bonnet to gag her.

"Bear hugs are not cool!" yelled Sonic. He dove in to kick the bear, but it didn't budge. He then reached over in an attempt to pull the gag off of Red. Red looked up behind Sonic and let out a muffled shriek of warning as Mama Bear picked up the rattle and swung it towards him.

Sonic didn't catch her intent in time. The rattle struck his head and sent him flying. He landed roughly, and after a few moments, got to his feet, slowly and unsteadily. His vision was blurry and his balance felt off. He shook his head, but the motion only made it worse, adding nausea to the mix. Irritation and alarm battled for precedence in his mind.

 _Oh great,_ he thought, _I've got a concussion. I'm an idiot for letting myself get hit in the head._

"Ha! Have I **rattled** you, dear rodent?"

 _Aaaand Eggman noticed too._ Sonic's self-preservation instinct just barely overpowered his lame pun reflex by reminding him that a facepalm in his current state would probably KO him on the spot.

Too disoriented to fight, Sonic clutched the Emeralds tightly in an attempt to absorb or at least contact them. But he could only faintly sense their energy. This was far too abstract for him. He felt like he was trying to ask the moon on a date.

His reflexes just barely broke through the fog of his impaired senses, and he felt himself jump backwards on autopilot right before a robotic fist would have smashed down on him. But the jump itself was too much. He stumbled upon landing and fell, dropping the Emeralds.

Sonic lay on his side, his head swimming, trying to make sense of his surroundings. He could make out his hand resting in front of him. A few inches away lay the Emeralds. And in the background, barely distinguishable among the gray borders slowly eclipsing his vision, Sonic could see Eggman approaching.

"Please..." he murmured to the Emeralds, his voice slurring, "help me out here…"

Eggman was getting closer, laughing wickedly. Sonic pushed himself up on his hands with considerable effort.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon…"

Eggman's mech extended a claw to grab the Emeralds. Sonic lunged as well, desperately reaching out to them with both his hand and his mind.

"COME _ON!_ " he screamed.

Everything went white. Sonic arched backwards as a wave of energy surged through him. His heart rate skyrocketed and the pain from recent blows dissolved away. After a moment, he opened his eyes, bringing the world above him into razor-sharp focus. He felt great, but... something didn't seem right. For starters, he couldn't locate the chaos energy to fly with. With growing apprehension, he looked down at himself.

Blue. He was still blue, and there was no flaming aura enveloping him. It was all just adrenaline, apparently. But where were the three Emeralds? Had he inadvertently used Chaos Control to teleport them away? He turned to look at Eggman.

The doctor didn't seem to have the Emeralds either, but he had fallen dead silent watching Sonic. His face was unreadable behind his dark glasses and bushy mustache. After a few moments, he smiled.

"Oh ho ho. Feeling blue, Sonic? Stellar wolf cry, there."

Sonic briefly scowled at Eggman before regaining his cool.

"Pfft. Whatever, McNosehair. I'll boot your backside without them!"

Sonic assumed an aggressive stance, ready to fight once more.

Mama Bear began to charge with the rattle again, but paused abruptly as Eggman threw a switch on his console. The doctor typed several keys before looking satisfied and throwing the switch back. Mama Bear tossed the rattle to Papa Bear, and then resumed charging.

 _What was_ _ **that**_ _all about?_ Sonic wondered as he backflipped to dodge a robotic fist. He kicked the robot hard in retaliation. It barely even noticed. He, however, let out a hiss of pain as he rubbed his foot. Sure, he was glad that he'd recovered his clarity of mind, but that didn't solve the problem of how he was actually going to _damage_ these blasted contraptions.

Mama Bear got up and swung again. Sonic vaulted over its head and spin-attacked it from behind. Still nothing. Sonic noticed that Eggman and his Papa Bear were spectating, not participating, so he sprinted to Eggman instead, hoping to score a surprise attack.

No luck. Papa Bear stomped on the ground, causing a tremor that knocked Sonic off his feet. Before he could get up, Mama Bear grabbed him by the leg and lifted him upside-down in the air.

Papa Bear swung the rattle at him. Definitely not wanting a repeat of the last time, Sonic used his arms to shield his head. Eggman wasn't aiming for his head, though. The rattle clocked him in the chest, painfully knocking the wind out of him. Mama Bear lifted him higher and then threw him back-first into the ground.

Sonic dragged himself to his feet, catching his breath with some difficulty. This wasn't working. _Nothing_ was working. The Emeralds simply wouldn't help, and there was no way he could beat these machines. His confidence began to falter.

Red finally wriggled out of the gag. "SONIC," she screamed, "YOU'RE **GOLDILOCKS!** "

Sonic squinted. "...what? Listen, now is NOT the time for motivational speeches."

"NO, YOU- **MRF** "

Eggman had given the order to gag her again before she could finish the last sentence.

"Hey!" Sonic yelled, charging towards the machine again. "Cut it out!"

"How about I cut _you_ out?" taunted Eggman. Before Sonic could reach the robot, several claws had grabbed him by the arms, and he was pulled close to face the bowtie on Papa Bear's chest.

The center of the bowtie opened to reveal the barrel of a laser cannon, which began charging. Sonic knew right away that he wouldn't survive a blast at this range. He tried to kick and struggle out of the restraints, but they held firm. His eyes widened.

Red began screaming harder against her gag, her head and eyes jerking back and forth as though she was trying to tell Sonic something.

Sonic looked over at her, and all around his surroundings, desperately trying to find some way to escape what was about to happen. His gaze caught on a highly reflective surface on the robot.

 _If only I could turn that metal piece around and reflect the laser,_ he thought, _but I just can't move. I think I've finally met my…myyy…_

His thoughts crashed to a halt as he double-took his own reflection.

"...uh..."

The gobsmacked hedgehog staring back at him was a familiar sight, for the most part. But while his body indeed was blue as normal, his head was not.

"... _wh_ …"

From the top of his skull to his hair-like quills, he was glowing a golden yellow. And said "hair" had curled into delicate ringlets.

" **WHAT THE** _**CRAG!?**_ " he roared.

Eggman hesitated, and then chuckled lightly at the incandescent, sputtering hedgehog below.

"Ah, I see you've finally noticed your adorable little makeover. Well, enjoy it for the last, oh, five seconds of your life."

Eggman flipped the top cover off a red button on his panel. The laser glowed brighter. It was about to fire. Sonic fell silent again.

 _Concentrate! The last time I unexpectedly transformed, Eggman immediately mocked me about it. He didn't take the opportunity this time, and he isn't letting Red talk, so he didn't want me to know, so he thinks it's a threat. He's clearly using his head, but how is this going to help me!? Wait...using his…?_

"Bye!" called Eggman, hitting the button.

Sonic shot forward and jammed his head into the cannon just as it fired.

Or backfired, rather. A massive explosion blew Eggman and the rest of the mech backwards. The bowtie cannon had been destroyed from the inside out. And on the ground stood an unscathed, amused Sonic. He knocked a fist against his head and smirked knowingly.

"Ahh, so _that's_ where the Emeralds went. Guess a partial super form is better than none at all, huh?"

"That...that makes no sense!" Eggman spat.

Sonic shrugged. "This is a kids' story, Doc. Anything goes. And _I'm_ the heroine here."

So saying, he bent over forward and aggressively scraped a foot across the ground.

" **Now** what are you doing?"

"What I do best! Being BULLHEADED!"

Sonic charged forward and crashed headfirst into Eggman's robot, gleefully breaking every rule of self-preservation he'd ever been trained to follow. He managed to dent a gaping hole in the robot as it flew back.

Sonic turned to wink at the still-gagged Red, his teeth sparkling.

"Geddit, Red? 'Cuz I charged like a bull?"

She rolled her eyes.

The battered robot ran forward again, charging up a punch. Arms casually folded behind his back, Sonic bowed forward to block it with his head. The fist caved in over him.

"Hah! Eat THIS, Pops!"

Sonic reared back and whirled around, delivering a fierce roundhouse kick to the crunched fist. Nothing of particular interest happened.

" _OWW!"_ he yelped, grabbing his throbbing foot and hopping on the other.

Sonic grunted as the robot's other hand grabbed him around the torso and began to constrict him. He stretched back as far as he could and then rapidly bashed his head woodpecker-style into the fist.

Eggman ejected his pod from the robot as the whole arm fell apart. Papa Bear stopped moving, but Eggman configured his panels to control Mama Bear from where he was.

Sonic took the opportunity to experiment during the lull in battle. Now that he knew where to look for it, he was able to access the chaos energy pooled in his skull. He tentatively reached out to it and was rewarded by levitating a few feet off the ground.

"Hahaha! _There_ we go! Now let's... _woah!_ "

Sonic found he was definitely capable of flight in this state. But what he was currently managing looked less like his usual Superman routine and more like a ragdoll getting jerked around headfirst by some invisible hand.

Eggman and Red watched in silent fascination as Sonic collided with the ground and several walls before getting the hang of it.

"Ahem. Okay! As I was saying. Eat this!"

Sonic flew into Mama and Papa Bear, rounding them up together in the center of the chapter. He then shot way up in the air.

"Oh dear," muttered Eggman, moving his pod far back.

Sonic came crashing down into both robots at once. An explosion echoed throughout the chapter.

Red looked over in concern. When the smoke cleared, there was very little left of either robot. Sonic, meanwhile, was buried headfirst into the ground, his legs sticking up and wiggling excitedly.

"That...was…AWESOME!" called his muffled voice. He popped out of the ground and smirked dangerously as he stalked towards Eggman.

Eggman groaned, smashing his face on his control panel. "I give up."

Sonic giggled. He clapped a hand over his mouth, clearly not having expected that particular sound to escape.

"Um...I mean...so there!" Sonic yelled, pointing triumphantly. He rummaged through the broken robot parts, eventually finding the two Emeralds that had been powering them.

"Alrighty! One bear to go, aaaand…"

"Wait, Sonic!"

Red ran over to him.

"Red? How'd you get free?"

"Eggman lost control of Baby Bear when you destroyed the other two. He's quite nice now. Can I keep him?"

"Oh." he looked over at Baby Bear. "...we do need its Emerald, though."

Baby Bear spat out the Emerald and threw it to Sonic.

"Ha! Okay, you live to bear hug another day."

"Well, Sonic, I can't believe I'm saying this, but you make a very good Goldilocks."

"Well thanks! At least this world isn't getting terrorized anymore, but, I need to go home and...wait. I'm juiced with three Emeralds, and I just got three more from the bears. Where's the last one?"

He shot a threatening look at Eggman.

"Don't ask me, rodent" he answered wearily. "I had four with me when I was sucked in, but I only ever found three of them."

"Hmm." Sonic clutched the Emeralds in one arm. They began glowing. His eyes closed, he stretched a probing hand out and rotated in several different directions until his head began glowing brighter. He walked over to one of the chapter borders and poked it tentatively. The page began to bulge, as though something on the other side was ramming against it. Sonic backed off a bit.

The page ripped open as the final Chaos Emerald burst through, flying into Sonic's open hand. He released his grip, allowing the four Emeralds to circle around him on their own.

"Found it. Thanks for reminding me the Emeralds attract each other, Doc."

Red gasped. Instead of a glowing portal, the rip in the page revealed a wooded path.

"It's…it's the path to Granny's house! Sonic, that's my story!"

"Weird," Sonic scratched his head, "why would your story be adjacent to this one?"

"Oh…" Eggman muttered.

Sonic turned to him quizzically. "You have an explanation for this?"

Eggman froze. "Er, no."

Sonic flipped his golden mane back and smashed a threatening fist into his palm.

Eggman sighed. "Oh alright. There's nothing left of my dignity anyway. But do try to control yourself."

Sonic looked confused, but nodded.

"I actually experimented on the _two_ books I had in my lab that day. I had always enjoyed both stories and was hoping to...Sonic, _if you don't stop laughing_ _this instant..._ "

Sonic wiped a tear from his eye, his face purple with restraint as he shook violently. "O-okay. So that's how Red got here. How do we set this back?"

"I don't know that we can. The stories are fused now."

"Oh...Red, I'm sorry…"

Red laughed. "It's fine, actually. They're both short stories and everyone confuses them anyway. If you're willing to pass the mantle of Goldilocks to me, I can fill both roles from now on. I am a blonde little girl, after all."

"Huh. Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"I like porridge."

He nodded quickly. "You'll be fine. Consider the title yours."

"But how will you get home?"

"That's easy. The Chaos Emeralds can manipulate space-time, and I'm a lot better at managing them as a group. I'd be tempted to leave Eggman here as punishment, but it wouldn't be fair to you."

"Much obliged."

"Oh, hey, you want his hoverpod too?"

"Sure!"

Sonic gestured to Eggman to stand next to him. The doctor complied, muttering angrily the whole way.

"Okay, Red, good luck!"

"You too! Thanks, Sonilocks!"

He smiled and reached a hand out to the four Emeralds surrounding him, causing them to glow brightly and morph into balls of pure energy. They shot into Sonic, briefly matching the rest of his body to his head before the world went white.

"Chaos Control!"

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

As it turns out, anything _is_ possible when you put your head to it.

Anyone wondering about Sonic's...colorful euphemism should play _Super Paper Mario._ Anyone not wondering about it should also play _Super Paper Mario._

 **Foreshadowing for this chapter, you know, just in case you're writing an essay on this and it's not up on Sparknotes yet:**

\- In the prologue (Chapter 0), Red was a little too correct when she asks about only Sonic's "hair" turning gold. The whole "name matches traits" thing applies too. And obviously, the first set of footprints in the house was Eggman's.

\- Red complains about Sonic's "bullheadedness" once per non-prologue chapter.

\- Sonic's realistic and crippling concussion is obviously foreshadowed by Chapter 3, when he's whacked twice in the head. There, it's played for laughs and explicitly stated that comedic injuries are a result of story tone...which conversely means that injuries sustained during the climax won't be so easily dismissed. Also, the symptoms of a concussion include nausea (Chapter 1) and vision problems (Chapter 2).

\- Baby Bear relinquishes its Emerald in the same way Baby Chair does.

\- Red being a good fit for Goldilocks 2.0 is foreshadowed by her being blonde (obviously), her willingness to adapt, and her positive attitude about porridge. She also mentions more of the "this X is too Y" lines than Sonic does.


	6. Chapter 5: The Epilogue

**Chapter 5: The Epilogue**

"Sonic? Are you up here?"

Sonic's eyes flew open. He sat up as Tails ran into his bedroom.

"Oh there you are! I haven't seen you for a while. ...Sonic, you look dazed. Are you okay?"

Sonic looked down. "Oh phew, this is my bed."

"...Sonic?"

"And my chair." He cast a loving glance towards the battered armchair in the corner of the room. It had been duct-taped several times from quill punctures.

"Really, are you alright?"

Sonic jumped out of his bed and looked at the plate on his nightstand. "And my porr-...poor chili dogs. Did you miss me, babies?" he finished.

"You...are acting very weird. Did you go on an adventure I'm not aware of?"

Sonic paused as he considered the last several entries in his memory. He wasn't terribly sure he wanted to share them. Granted, Eggman knew. But the doctor stood to lose far more dignity than Sonic did should he ever try to spill the story.

"Is sleeping considered an adventure? Heh heh."

"...if you say so. Anyway, I was going to ask for your help. Knuckles set one too many traps around the Master Emerald and seems to have gotten himself tangled up in several of them. The rest are pretty dangerous, so I'll need you as a backup to get him out."

"Of course he did. Okay, let's go!"

Sonic waved and strutted towards the doorway. Tails paused to look at something on the table.

"What is this?" Tails asked.

"Hmm?"

"...it's a book. The title looks like _Sonilocks and the Three Bears_."

Sonic froze.

A baffled Tails picked up the book, flipped near the end, and began reading out loud.

xxx

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed..." boomed a female voice. She meant to be intimidating, but the true heavy hitter was the monstrous silhouette looming behind her.

"Oh…" muttered the wolf, his pupils shrinking. "What a big bear you have."

Little Red Riding Hood grinned wickedly. "All the better to rattle you with. Eat THIS, _Granny._ "

She threw several switches from her egg-shaped hoverpod. Baby Bear's robotic eyes began glowing red as it reared back for a swing.

Little Red Riding Hood reclined the chair, settling in as a control on the panel beeped pleasantly. She opened a compartment and pulled out a bowl of porridge.

"Just right, as always."

xxx

Tails trailed off in confusion. "Wh-what kind of story IS this? Is it Little Red Riding Hood or Goldilocks? And why are there _mechs_!?"

Despite himself, Sonic cracked up. "Yes! Way to go, Red!"

"Sonic, why are you...did you have something to do with this? Did you WRITE this?"

"Uh...I...I just approve of violence, s'all."

More confused than ever, Tails flipped to the very end of the book.

"Oh, it's illustrated…Sonic, is this _you?_ "

Sonic froze again. "Um...is what me, exactly?"

"I don't even...um...as far as I can understand, it looks like a poorly-done Microsoft Paint drawing of you. In a pink dress. With curly blonde hair."

Sonic turned bright red. He'd been discovering the ability to be all kinds of colors lately.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Author's Notes:**

Thank you for sticking to the end of my bonkers brainchild! This is my first fanfiction (and one of my first dips into fiction altogether), and I would greatly appreciate constructive reviews, whether positive or negative. And thank you to the anonymous reviewers, to whom I can't reply in person!

 **The Origin Story:**

Actually, I initially wrote this fiction with no intent of posting it on here. My (equally nerdy) sister and I enjoy telling game/movie stories to each other over IM, and one day after having done Secret Rings, I asked her to guess what story world the next game (Black Knight) would be set in. The following conversation ensued:

 **Sister:** I mean, it could be goldilocks.

 **Me:** ded no

 **Sister:** nono hear me out

 **Sister:** sonic is goldilocks

 **Me:** ded.

 **Sister:** but he can't REALLY be goldilocks till he finds all the chaos emeralds

 **Me:** ...

 **Me:** *lost it

 **Me:** good point.

 **Sister:** so it's really about him becoming goldilocks

 **Me:** the _journey_ to goldilocks

 **Sister:** YES

 **Me:** died.

 **Sister:** it's about the journey

 **Me:** shockingly, googling sonic goldilocks got me nowhere

 **Sister:** weird.

 **Sister:** ..why did you actually google that.

 **Me:** we'll have to invent it I suppose.

 **Me:** I was really hoping to send you an image

 **Me:** I was also hoping you didn't plagiarize it, you know, before we send it to sega as a sales pitch.

And now you see why I emphasized the word _journey_ in this fic. Anyway, any stories that followed included descriptions of Sonic "turning Goldilocks" as a synonym for going super, and we frequently discussed how honestly, her idea for a story was way better than anything Sega put out, and how we _really should write it some day._

This became such a running gag for us, that when I later bought a drawing tablet, the first thing I did was draw an intentionally awful MS Paint drawing (the one described in this chapter) with the caption SONILOCKS™, and e-mailed it to her while she was in a business meeting. She still hasn't forgiven me for that.

But after I did the drawing, the idea of a curly, blonde-haired Sonic as an embarrassing partial endgame transformation stuck so hard in my mind that I couldn't let it go. Maybe I would write the whole thing secretly and just _send_ it to her one day? It took a while to even start, but once I opened that Google Doc during a bout of boredom, it haunted me until it was finished. A few weeks later I had finished this monstrosity and sent it to my sister.

I was far too embarrassed by its absurdity to send it to anyone else, but I got the bonkers idea of just posting it anonymously to get some equally anonymous feedback. My sister egged me on - as you can see, she's usually the catalyst for my stupidity - and here we are!

I truly hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks again!


End file.
